On his seminal album Bulk, Jack Logan paints lyrical pictures of everyday people doing everyday things…working, living, dying, and relating to one another. I’ve always found wisdom and inspiration in music, so as I contemplate what it means to be a mid-career professional, I can relate especially to the subject of his song “15 years in Indiana.” I don’t live in Indiana, nor am I a
cocktail waitress, but it’s easy to relate to the idea of someone contemplating their place in life during everyday breaks and routines. The waitress in the song is at times bored, disappointed with her life, and tired of people and routines, but in the end, she thinks on the stories she could tell, and she’s laughing.
I imagine we all have those introspective moments, where life circumstances cause us to question our motivations and wonder “What the hell am I doing here?” and “Where am I going in my life and my career?” When we are lucky, other circumstances intervene, to remind us of our motivations and sense of purpose. Hopefully, this will lead to personal discoveries and some
ideas about how to apply the answers we find toward new directions in our careers and lives.
Over the past few years, I’ve become a father to two children, learned that I have a progressive neurological disorder, and turned
40, so pondering life and my place in it has been a constant preoccupation. I don’t look at myself the same way I did before. Being a dad has given me a more personal stake in what kind of world I leave for my children, and to consider how
my work in Student Affairs will contribute to that world. Learning to deal with a disability and understanding how it will eventually affect my ability to do my job and take care of my family has been daunting, but it has also given me some great context in life, and a sense of purpose toward managing it the best I can, and making the best of my time and abilities now. I am getting better at choosing how I spend my time and energy. Turning 40 has been interesting, in that I’ve always thought I would see it as “downhill from here,” but these days, I see myself more like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill, and trying not to get run over by it as it rolls back down.
When I get to feeling this way, I find it’s useful to ask better questions, like “Why did I get into this field in the first place?,” “Why
have I stayed?” and “Where do I want to go from here?” In my case, I joined the field because I was kind of a screw-up in college, and I found my way with the help of student affairs professionals at my alma mater (Clemson). I stay for the students and young professionals I have helped along the way, and who are often kind enough to come back when they are alumni to see me, usually at the times of year I need it most. I stay because I believe this is what I am meant to do, at least for now.
Where am I going? Ideally, wherever I choose to go. Practically, though, the circumstances that life has dealt me have limited some
options, and I realize that you have to choose from what is actually in front of you. This requires looking at your life, your career and your motivations. Remembering the reasons I chose this field, the people I have helped (and who have helped me) and constantly asking “what should I be doing next?” is what keeps me going. At the end of it all, I hope to find myself smiling at memories
I’ve built, laughing about the good times, and remembering that no matter what brought me here, it was worth it. I’d love to read perspectives of other student affairs professionals about what drives them to continue in the field, and how they manage the different stages of their careers.