When I was seriously considering pursuing a doctoral degree, I looked for valid reasons not to pursue it. I told myself “I am not good enough”, “I am not smart enough”.
The mentors and colleagues that I sought counsel from on this decision were consistent in their feedback. They asserted that I was smart enough, I was good enough, and that my testimony was needed to make a difference in the lives of others.
My tie to ex-offenders
Upon making the decision to pursue the doctorate, one of the many pearls of wisdom I received was to have my dissertation topic in mind and to have passion about the subject. Almost 20 years ago, I went through the unfortunate experience of being convicted of a non-violent felony. I spent six months of my sentence in prison before being granted work release, then parole. Ultimately, I completed my sentence.
During my time in the criminal justice system, I witnessed the disenfranchisement of many individuals, in particular minorities. A great deal of men did not have the educational level I had. Some didn’t even know how to read. Still, I did not look at myself as being better than them. After all, we were in the same predicament. When I came home, I went to work for The Fortune Society to assist ex-offenders to transition back to mainstream society. I then I re-located back to Florida, started working in higher education and pursued my second master’s degree.
Finding my dissertation
During this journey, I was not conscious of the seeds being planted in me regarding my future doctoral commitment and dissertation work. However, upon acceptance and matriculation into the doctoral program, I continually reflect on the disenfranchisement of the men I was incarcerated with, as well as those I served at The Fortune Society. I felt called to make my doctoral work the foundation to make the difference in the lives of ex-offenders looking for the opportunity to do better and to be better. I would conduct doctoral research to show the relationship between ex-offenders re-offending or not re-offending and obtaining sustainable employment. My work could be one of the many steps to creating a successful integration to mainstream society for ex-offenders, especially those that are disproportionately minorities.
Besides passion for my dissertation topic, I have seen thus far that commitment is key to be successful in a doctoral program. You must first have the commitment to work within the program and balance your life to make the program a priority. Also, you must have faith, as well as discipline and consistency in all your actions during the program.
Personal Tragedy
In closing, at the beginning of summer term 2016, I received news that my 20-year-old son was murdered. As a parent, my son was very important to me and someone I loved very much. In addition, he was a firm supporter of my doctoral pursuit. I’ve transformed the hurt I continue to feel by his loss into the passion, fuel, discipline, and consistency. I strive to succeed for him, the ex-offenders I write for, and for myself. I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I belong here.
This post is part of our #SADocsofColor series for March. The journey towards obtaining a doctorate degree is long and arduous. This series highlights the stories of those on that journey that identify as men and women of color; stories which aren’t always told and stories that are important.
We need to hear these narratives now more than ever. For more info, see Jamal Myrick’s intro post. Be sure to check out other posts in the series!
